Dear Queen-
I just got back to having a relationship with my Mom. She has been in prison for most of my life and she never raised me or my sisters, but I have been trying to give her a chance. I want to love her an forgive her . . . but it's hard to not remember how she left us. What do I do? - R.K.
Dear R.K.-
That's a hard one. I would say that forgiveness is essential if you want to progress, because if you don't forgive, you will be walking around with that pain in your heart for a lifetime. You will feel anger, disappointment, hurt and all of these emotions may be confusing. But remember, your Mom made her choices in life. You can CHOOSE to love, forgive and heal.
I think that it would be helpful to express your emotions to your Mom, or someone that you trust. Expressing your feelings will be the first step to healing. Your Mom may not be ready to accept the wrong that she has done, but at least you will feel some freedom from carrying the weight of the past.
I pray that you and your Mom work things out, and will continue to pray for you.
over-n-out
Monday, April 9, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Revenge On A Cheating Husband
Dear Queen:
My husband had cheated some years ago, but I have had a really hard time trusting him, even though I love him. Now that he has decided to be all nice and loving, I don't know if I should believe it. I have even thought of having a fling so that we could be 'even', but I haven't had the heart. What should I do? - BG
Dear BG: Getting even won't solve the problem. The fact that you love him and decided to stay should tell you that your heart is still in the marriage. So you have a choice to make . . . will you live in the past or live in the future? If you live in the past, you will always refer back to what he did and be stuck in those hurt feelings. If you choose to live in the future, you see your husband as the man he is and will be, not the man that he was. By deciding to stay, you must have believed somewhere in your heart that he was worth fighting for. My advice to you . . . less doubting and more loving. If he apologized for his wrong, choose to forgive him and LOVE him.
over-n-out
My husband had cheated some years ago, but I have had a really hard time trusting him, even though I love him. Now that he has decided to be all nice and loving, I don't know if I should believe it. I have even thought of having a fling so that we could be 'even', but I haven't had the heart. What should I do? - BG
Dear BG: Getting even won't solve the problem. The fact that you love him and decided to stay should tell you that your heart is still in the marriage. So you have a choice to make . . . will you live in the past or live in the future? If you live in the past, you will always refer back to what he did and be stuck in those hurt feelings. If you choose to live in the future, you see your husband as the man he is and will be, not the man that he was. By deciding to stay, you must have believed somewhere in your heart that he was worth fighting for. My advice to you . . . less doubting and more loving. If he apologized for his wrong, choose to forgive him and LOVE him.
over-n-out
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