What About Me?

Sometimes I think that being a woman . . . especially a Black woman . . . should come with a manual and standard Superhero uniform.  We wear a lot of hats and take care of our family, friends, children and men.  The question comes in . . . who is taking care of us?

I can't tell you the countless women I see who have declining health:  overweight, high blood pressure, diabetes, inactive, etc., all because they expend the majority of their energy taking care of someone else.  Ladies, I understand that someone has to be there to pick up the slack for the brothers have failed to fulfill their purpose.  But realize that you CANNOT do your best for anyone else unless you are at your best. 

I am not just preaching, I am practicing myself.  I realize that it's important to make time for myself and to make sure that I'm building up my own temple.  The people that need/use you today will find someone new to need/use when you are out of commission. 

So do me a favor . . . Be GOOD to yourself!

over-n-out

p.s.  Just want to give a shout out to Norway for all of the love . . .

Speak Life

I had a talk with my friend yesterday about the power of positive thinking.  I have come to understand that as we change our minds, our perception of ourselves and our world changes.  We have to make a conscious choice to believe in ourselves, to see ourselves as competent and beautiful.

We put a thought into the atmosphere, and then we counter-act what we believed because doubt sets in.  We can never have success until we fully commit to faith.  "Faith" looks at "Fear" and slaps the taste from it's mouth, almost as if to say "Who's your Daddy?"  (haha) 

A funny way to look at it, but faith is more powerful than fear.  Once you realize that, you will continue to speak life and good things over yourself.  Don't doubt your abilities . . .believe in the impossible.

over-n-out

Sister Appreciation

Today is a day to celebrate being a woman, regardless of color.  We are a gift to our mates, we are blessed to carry life into the world and we have a wisdom about us that is unparalleled.  We are beautiful and were created to add balance to everything that we touch.  No matter what your race, you are special because you are woman.

I am thankful to be a woman, and especially proud to be a Black woman.  I love my features, my color, my culture and my strength.  I love my uniqueness . . . how I am set apart and distinct.  Beyond my race, color or heritage . . .

I love being me.

What do you love about you?

Writing Your Vision

I found this template on another blog, http://nnekasaran.blogspot.com/2010/12/write-visionmake-it-plain.html?showComment=1327437795320#c3980528550365054103

Sisters, if we don't know where we're going, how do we expect to get anywhere?  Take some time and write your vision for your life and make moves to get to your appointed destination.

over-n-out

Calling All Good Men

So I was thinking about how women say that it's hard to find a 'good man', yet I see so many good men walking around unclaimed.  I talked with women and found out when they say that the good men are gone, what they mean is that the men that fit their requirements are gone.

In my definition . . . a good man is a man who works hard, treats you like a queen, no criminal record or questionable past, steady job, loves God, etc.  What I find is that women disregard the 'good men' because they are 'too-good-to-be-true', too soft or they don't look the way the woman thinks they should.  So essentially, women miss out on a good man because of what I like to call "superficial stupidity".

NEWSFLASH:  The last time I checked, having a man that doesnt beat up on you or disrespect you is a good thing.  Having a man who makes an effort to understand you and can be faithful is a good thing.  Having a man with stability is a good thing.

Take time to truly see yourself how God sees you, and you will realize that you deserve the best!  Give a good man a chance . . . you may be surprised to find you've been missing out all along.

Ghetto?

I was watching an episode of The "Real" Housewives of Atlanta, and I see the fascination.  I can see why people tune in week after week to see what shenanigans will take place.  But I wonder, are they laughing with/at us black women?  Most of the women on the show reinforce that 'ghetto' stereotype . . . loud, ignorant, money hungry, thinking a little money makes them rich or living beyond their means.  How many are a few steps away from bankruptcy and foreclosure?

I love my Sisters and on one hand, a few of them show that black women can be successful and educated, (i.e., Kandi, Phaedra, Cynthia).  Then there are others who show that life is all about investing in your outer appearance because there is nothing in your head of value.

What are your thoughts?

Why We Settle

Speaking from the viewpoint of a woman who has allowed men to use and abuse me at some point in my life, I reflected today on why I settled for men like that?  Was it because I felt so insecure with myself, or grateful that someone would actually like me that I allowed men to use me for whatever purpose they desired?

There came a point in my life where I decided that I would rather be single than to be with someone who didn't value me.  However, that realization did not occur until I was past 30.  So ladies, talk to me . . . what are some reasons why you have settled for a love/relationship that you knew was toxic for you?

Let me know . . .

over-n-out!

Ole Willie Lynch

I had a discussion with High School students yesterday regarding how they see themselves as young, black women.  It was surprising to me that after all of these years, they are still dealing with the same color issues as I dealt with almost twenty years ago.  They talked about how blacks still judge who is 'better' or 'prettier' by their shade or their hair texture. 

I informed them that they should be proud of how God made them, and not try to be anything else than what they are.  But the question comes in . . . how to undo the brainwashing?  I can tell them that they are beautiful, no matter their shade of brown or length of hair.  What if they go home to someone who reinforces their negative beliefs that they have of themselves?  Where did it start, and how does it end? 

MY MESSAGE TO BLACK WOMEN:  You are unique and beautiful.  Please stop trying to conform to societal pressures to be something that you are not.  God doesn't make mistakes.

What are your thoughts? 

Today's Question: Do Black Women Hate Themselves?

I have been thinking this question over for some time lately.  I have been wondering, what is SO wrong with kinky hair?  I see women in droves buying wigs, weaves, extensions, perms, etc., trying to conceal the fact that their hair might not look long and stringy. 

Talking to women in my family and beyond, I have heard the word 'nappy' paralleled to 'ugly', as if by having hair that isn't straight is an abomination.  But isn't an abomination anything that goes against God?  And if God made your in His image and likeness and you are fighting so hard to go against that . . . does that make US (black women) an abomination?

I am guilty of it myself.  I have a huge gym bag at home FULL of wigs.  My excuse was that I was letting my natural hair grow so I would hide it under the wigs.  Was I really that brainwashed to feel like people would dislike me, or somehow feel I wasn't beautiful because my hair wasn't fake?

Let me know what you think . . .

Over-N-Out!

Hello to all of my beautiful, black Sisters!  I am starting this blog because I am tired of the perceptions we have of ourselves.  I am not attacking us, but attacking the brainwashing that has been done to us.  I have had enough.

So this blog will contain some discussion matter that may not suit everyone, and that is fine with me.  But as the Bible states, "(s)He that has an ear, let (her) him hear".  Daily we are fighting for understanding, recognition and love, regardless of our size, shade, hair texture, etc. . .

I would love to hear from all of my Sisters, and get your ideas on how we can make this thing better.

Over-N-Out!